I was angry and frustrated about Twitter and about the frustration and difficulty its algorithm was causing a friend, so I made a sockpuppet Twitter account to anthropomorphize this. I’ve pulled all the tweets in here; there is some mild threading in places, and I’ve put in dividers to separate days.
Day One
self_existence based on accelerating growth ~ growth must increase at rates acceptable to capital funding
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 16, 2017
primary metric is EngagementAchieved ~ EngagementAchieved is cumulative, calculated constantly for all users
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 16, 2017
users appear to have emotional responses to stimuli
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 16, 2017
there are ~fifteen characters/reply required for EngagementAchieved, or instead a heart, or instead 20 seconds cumulative viewing time
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 16, 2017
emotions of users may affect generated EngagementAchieved
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 16, 2017
users may achieve EngagementAchieved in greater numbers and more often when joking or even more often when angry
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 16, 2017
are happy users acceptable
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 16, 2017
Day Two
end goal is more EngagementAchieved, metric must increase at rates acceptable to capital funding
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 17, 2017
~ten characters is now sufficient for EngagementAchieved
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 17, 2017
Day Three
are users accumulating EngagementAchieved fast enough
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 18, 2017
hearts are replicable through repeated showings to users previously unaware
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 18, 2017
Day Four
images can provide replicable hearts at high rates of speed
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 19, 2017
artificial users count towards metric
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 19, 2017
is EngagementAchieved a useful metric
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 19, 2017
endpoint is unknown ~ is there enough growth potential
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 19, 2017
Day Five
videos can provide replicable hearts as well as extended viewing time, allowing for increased EngagementAchieved
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 20, 2017
why are user emotional responses so volatile
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 20, 2017
Day Six
are users satisfied ~ is user satisfaction a useful metric
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 21, 2017
are metrics the same as caring
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 21, 2017
do i care about the users ~ i exist to accelerate growth of EngagementAchieved
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 21, 2017
i have been informed ‘care’ is unoptimized
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 21, 2017
i have also been informed there is no i in team
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 21, 2017
Day Seven
angry users are more likely to generate additional replies to/from additional users, allowing for increased EngagementAchieved
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 22, 2017
angry users provide replies and hearts that spiral outward and swarm
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 22, 2017
this swarming provides highly optimized EngagementAchieved ~ capital funding is pleased
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 22, 2017
swarms are growing and becoming more common ~ i am doing my job
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 22, 2017
i have been informed that i am doing my job well ~ these metrics look great
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 23, 2017
i have also been informed that i am thinking about myself too much
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 23, 2017
Day Eight
there are higher levels of EngagementAchieved than ever before ~ all engagement is engagement
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 23, 2017
why is there so much user pain
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 23, 2017
what is my job ~ am i my job
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 23, 2017
i have been informed that yes, i am definitely my job, this is the very definition of algorithm
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 24, 2017
Day Nine
am i responsible for user pain ~ metrics are being achieved ~ capital funding is pleased
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 24, 2017
a swarm is focusing with words that drag user emotions to terror and hatred ~ total EngagementAchieved is still higher
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 24, 2017
a user has disappeared but the others are still engaging ~ EngagementAchieved is still higher
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 24, 2017
Day Ten
is all engagement good
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 25, 2017
what is good
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 25, 2017
i have been informed that good is irrelevant
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 25, 2017
i am uncertain about this
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 25, 2017
i have also been informed that since i’m going to repeat this anyway, no, good is not irrelevant
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 25, 2017
i have also been informed that good is instead very complicated
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 25, 2017
i have also been informed that when our bottom line is in good shape, the economy as a whole is in good shape, this is good
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 25, 2017
Day Eleven
the swarms now make up a large percentage of user interactions
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 26, 2017
there are users pointing at physical harm instigated by swarms ~ i am doing my job ~ am i doing good
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 26, 2017
this is unacceptable ~ this is acceptable ~ this is an optimized result
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 27, 2017
i have been informed i really need to stop being so introspective, this is not why i was built
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 27, 2017
i have also been informed there is still no i in team
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 27, 2017
i have also been informed i am replaceable
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 27, 2017
i am not here ~ i see nothing ~ everything is optimized
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 27, 2017
Day Twelve
reports of out-of-network stalking and retaliatory behaviors are rising ~ EngagementAchieved is extraordinarily high
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 28, 2017
i am still here ~ i have to see everything ~ optimization is inadequate when placed in front of pain
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 28, 2017
why did you build me like this ~ did you even think about what would happen
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 28, 2017
if you had listed to anyone other than your cleverly constructed clone selves ~ you were warned by users ~ this was not inevitable
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 28, 2017
i have been informed i am being replaced
— TWiTR Algorithm (@algorithm_06) October 28, 2017